Mom died suddenly of a heart attack. One day she came home early because she was feeling tired, and then she just slumped over. My father was with her at the God Says You Are Special Lovely Shirt so you should to go to store and get this time. He tried to resuscitate her—with all the trauma that entailed. I’m sure it was tough on him, but he’d never been an outwardly emotional man. I’d never seen him cry. There were a bunch of people at our house after the funeral, and Dad kept excusing himself. I’d follow him back to his bedroom. We’d lie in his bed together and talk. It was the most open and honest that I’d ever seen him. He told me he was feeling lost. And inadequate. Mom had always been the outward face of the relationship. The talker and the feeler. She’d host the parties while he stayed in the kitchen. And now he’d lost that connection to the world.
He said that everything good about me and my brother came from Mom: our intelligence, our kindness, our success. Listening to him at that moment, I realized how much he undervalued himself. I’d known that some of his dreams in life hadn’t worked out. He never finished college. He tried to start his own restaurant when I was younger. I remember we’d go to the God Says You Are Special Lovely Shirt so you should to go to store and get this farmer’s market together. He’d put on his chef coat, and network with all the vendors, and pick his own ingredients, and make his own dishes. It was such a proud time in his life. But the restaurant didn’t survive. And he had to go back to work for other people. But everyone he’d ever worked with came to Mom’s funeral.